


Pearls Of Time

by glindalovesshoes



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Multi, Pearl Harbor au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:26:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glindalovesshoes/pseuds/glindalovesshoes
Summary: Pearl Harbor, April 9th 1945. When Robin returns from the war in Europe after three and a half years, it's hard to go back to his old life. He's not the man he used to be, but he knows one thing is still the same. The love for his wife. What happens though, when he's not the only one who's changed? /DragonOutlawQueen / Historical AU / Written for DOQ week day 6





	1. Chapter 1

  
_Pearl Harbor, April 9th 1945_

  
Spring is here in its full force. It's never really cold around here, even in winter, nothing compared to the harsh winters he's seen in Europe. Those cold, unforgiving winters which have cost so many people their lives. Without food, without firewood, without homes because they had become victims of the war. Frostbite and starvation, the haggard faces of soldiers and civilians that haunt him, that make him shake his head in an attempt to dispel them. Focus, Robin.

  
He does - focuses on the hibiscus bush to his left and the flowers which bloom throughout the year and those which just start to blossom now, which make the island of O'ahu an oasis of color. Much better than the concrete desert and destruction he left behind a couple of days ago when he left the sick bay in South England. One can only call it bizarre how some parts of the world drown in death and ashes while this one seems to have more than recovered after the fatal attack of 1941. But that's good. It's good to come home to something… whole.

  
Robin shoulders his duffle bag and makes his way slowly down the street, because well, it's not particularly easy with a damaged hip that makes walking a freaking nightmare. Never would he describe himself as an invalid, a casualty of war. Nurse Claire had reassured him that the limping was barely noticeable and he should be glad they didn't amputate his leg two years ago when his plane got hit by a German Messerschmitt and crashed into the English Channel on the way back to the airbase. The injury may be barely noticeable for everyone else, but Robin knows it's there. That's why he keeps clenching his teeth as he follows the street signs until he arrives at the longed for destination. Finally. The warm breeze of the Pacific makes the palm leaves in front of the coral pink Naval Hospital Pearl Harbor swing gently from one side to the other. It's gentle, caressing, inviting, like the soft touch of a lover. So familiar, yet so very… different.

  
There are construction works going on, a few buildings have been added. The hospital is not the only thing looking different though. Robin hasn't spent much time here before he left, but the few months in Honolulu before the war happened, had been the best of his life. A life he more than anything wishes to go back to. Can he though? Is it even possible? Everything has changed, everything he used to be familiar with is different. The country, the island, the city, the people… he himself is not who he used to be. Robin remembers the day they arrived at the harbor like it was yesterday, when they came here with plans for their future but in fact, it has been three and a half years. So damn much has happened.

  
He drops the duffle bag next to his feet as he watches people heading in and out of the hospital, many of them in the same military uniform he is wearing right now, some in marine uniforms and some in new ones he can't identify. They're probably stationed here, waging the war in the Pacific against Japan. Robin wonders how many mates they've lost, what they've been through. Have they been through anything at all or were they like he used to be - young and naïve and hungry for action, to fight for their country overseas? For a split second he closes his eyes, but the noises of battle and pictures burned into his memory start catching up with him, so he does what Dr. Henry Morgan has told him. Take a deep breath and think of your happy place.

  
Her face forms instantly in his mind with her fair skin, short, perfectly styled dark curls stopping right above her chin, the elusive and satisfying smile from dark red colored lips he thinks of every time he closes his eyes. And then there are the dark brown orbs, the ones that change their color depending on her mood and the light, the ones he can get lost in over and over again. Every time he thinks of her she's wearing the little white nurse dress with a hat - the one she hated because it would never stay in place no matter how many pins she would fasten it with. It's the outfit she wore when they first met back in New York what it feels like a lifetime ago. He used to carry her picture in his chest pocket but he'd lost it in the plane crash, something he's never really gotten over. All he's left of her is the ring she gave him on their wedding day, the one that hangs around his neck with the pair of dog tags that doesn't belong to him.

  
Three and a half years, thousands of kilometers and a world at war between them. Yet he found his way back to her, he survived. She was the face that kept him going when he couldn't remember, her voice was the one that spoke to him when he was lost in the darkness, when he almost drowned in his plane in the English Channel. Even when his memory was lost his subconscious could still remember her. The question now is - what does she remember of him?

  
Robin's breath hitches when he sees her exit the hospital, clad in her nurse uniform with the ridiculously cute little hat that doesn't seem to sit just right and a dark brown woolen jacket. It's her, he knows it's her even if her hair is a good three inches longer, falling softly over her shoulders and her skin tanned. He'd recognize her anywhere. His heart is beating rapidly as she comes closer, laughing at something and damn he missed her so much he has to suppress the urge to just call out for her. She's flanked by two women, one of them he almost doesn't recognize. There's Mal with her perfectly styled blonde hair and signature red lipstick, accompanied by an aura of pure authority that always scared the hell out of him. Is she even still head nurse? But then his eyes wander over to the other woman. Long dark curls are gone and her once innocent face is now framed by a short pixie cut that makes her look older, much more mature even though her skin is as fair and resistant against the Hawaiian sun as ever. The weight of the dog tags around his neck becomes unbearable for a moment, dragging him down so much he almost loses his balance. Mary Margaret.

  
Whether it's his sudden movement or just coincidence he doesn't know, but Mal spots him first. Sharp blue eyes are boring into his, wide with surprise as her lips part slightly. Regina's laughter fails as she casually bumps into her friend's shoulder, probably asking her what's wrong before taking her hand and squeezing it lightly. Mal holds onto it, whispering something he can't hear because he's too far away, but he can see Regina tense and hold onto her friend's hand even tighter.

  
A high pitched scream disturbs the silence as Mary Margaret sinks down onto her knees, one hand lingering on her lips while the other points directly at him. Robin rips his eyes away from Mal over to the brunette kneeling on the floor shaking and it is only then that Regina follows Mary Margaret's pointed finger and spots him. She looks at him as if she's seeing a ghost, her hand clasping Mal's so tight he can see the white of her knuckles shining through.

  
For so long he has waited for this moment, has dreamed about it, has imagined every possible scenario of her running toward him, running away from him, waiting for him to come to her. And every time he knew exactly what he would do but today… today he feels frozen on the spot. Nobody moves, it is as if time is standing still. People have stopped now, watching the scene in front of them curiously. God how he wishes they would just move on, how he wishes he could move, but his legs won't budge. Surprisingly it's Mal who steps forward first, who gently puts an arm around Regina's trembling shoulders, mumbles something that makes his wife nod and guides her over to him.

  
She's shaking, eyes open in shock and seemingly afraid of blinking because of the fear he might vanish. The closer they come the more afraid she looks, caught like a deer in the headlights. Robin could swear Mal keeps pushing her forward, that her instinct is to run as far away as possible. Nothing new here - she would always run away from conflict and from things that scare her. A slight ache spreads in his chest. Robin doesn't want her to be afraid of him.

  
When they're only three steps away, Mal stops, eyebrows arched. Tears are brimming in Regina's eyes and it seems like she's holding her breath.

  
"Breathe, ko'u aloha," Mal whispers, patting her friend's shoulder. Regina does as told, takes a short breath and blinks, making a tear slip down the side of her cheek. It crushes Robin's heart to see her like this, so fragile, so disturbed, but what did he expect?

  
"Are you real?" Is the first thing she whispers. She's still not looking him in the eye, is looking everywhere but directly at him as if she has a hard time believing it. To be fair, from what he knew, he was proclaimed dead two and a half years ago, so it shouldn't bother him as much that she is standing there, looking at him like he is a ghost. He's lost a lot of weight in the past few years due to constant stress, malnutrition and the accident. The first time he's seen a mirror after months has left him shaken and feeling unwell. It's not bad, he's seen soldiers worse off than him, but he hasn't been able to shave again before seeing her, so there is a good week of scruff on his face, making him probably look wild and barbaric. Of course he doesn't look like the person who left her all this time ago, he isn't the same person either. And the way she's standing there, looking anywhere but into his eyes makes him wonder if she's still the same. Probably not.

  
"It's… it's me. I'm real. I'm here." Robin swallows hard, every word on his tongue as heavy as lead as he stretches out his hand toward her. This is the moment, the moment that will define their future. Would she take him back? There is no obligation, legally, they aren't even married anymore since he was proclaimed dead. But Regina is everything he has left, the big piece of him that kept him alive. She's the reason he's here. She saved him… and with whatever she decided now, she could end him as well. His gaze wanders nervously from Regina to Mal and back again and the rush of relief that overcomes him when she finally steps forward is overwhelming.

  
In a split second she's in his arms, pressed tightly against his chest with heart wrenching sobs shaking through her body. Regina’s grip on him feels so strong, the heels she is wearing making her almost the same height. He's losing his balance, can't hold them up, not like he used to, so he sinks down onto his knees with her, ignoring the intense pain in his hip as he buries his nose in her hair.  
Heaven, this must be what heaven feels like and more than one time in the past years has he wondered if this is what would expect him when he crossed Peter at Heaven's Gate. Regina still smells the same, that significant scent of apple and vanilla with a hint of hospital and the odor of just her. Home, this is what coming home feels like.

  
The pain he feels in his hip and on his back where Regina's nails are digging into his skin is making him feel alive. Robin squeezes her tighter against his chest, not able to hold back with the tears that get soaked up by her hair. Never would he be ashamed of the tears he shed because of her, the ones he cried when he thought he'd never see her again, the ones he cried when he remembered and the ones he's shedding now that he has her back and will never ever let her go again. If she still wants him that is. Hoping the moment won't end, Robin nuzzles deeper into her neck, breathing her in, filling his lungs with life and love and for the first time in forever something that comes close to happiness.

  
"You're real," she whispers close to his ear, voice filled with emotion. "You're alive."

  
"All because of you."

  
Robin loosens the embrace, gently pushing her back and finally, for the first time she's looking directly at him with teary eyes. Her make up is smeared, cheeks wet with black streaks from the mascara, but he doesn't care because she's beautiful to him. The most beautiful thing to look at and he just wants to get lost in a pair of eyes that could always look directly into his soul. Regina's lips are trembling, her hands finally let go of his back and gently cup his cheek.

  
Her touch is so soft as if she's scared he's going to vanish if she touches him, tracing his features with her thumbs and forefingers. When she catches her lower lip with her teeth he raises an eyebrow.

"Nice beard."

  
A choked laugh escapes his throat and god he wants to kiss her senseless right now. But he doesn't know if he has the right to do it, doesn't know if it's not too much at once. Instead, Robin presses his lips to her forehead, pulling her back into another tight embrace, this time much shorter but no less intense.

  
"I missed you so much, my love." Regina doesn't answer, just holds him, breathing him in audibly. A moment later she adjusts their embrace, presses her forehead against his before rubbing their noses together. She's stopped visibly shaking but her hands are still slightly trembling from the surprise and realization. Back, he's back for good, back with her, back home.

  
"It's good to see you, Robin," a small voice says. Mary Margaret has made her way over to the couple, hands nervously playing with the pleats of her skirt. Her face looks even paler than usual and Robin is waiting, waiting for the inevitable question he already dreads to give the answer to. It's Regina who pulls back this time, a nervous expression on her face as she raises easily from the ground.

  
Robin closes his eyes before he adjusts his good leg in order to stand up, taking a deep breath. It's hurting, a sharp pain that makes him wince audibly. He didn't want her to find out this way, doesn't want to worry her. She's always been smart and attentive though, so when he's breathing through the pain, she crouches down next to him with her hand on his shoulder.

  
"Robin, are you okay?"

  
"Fine. Fine, just give me… a moment."

  
"Let us help you." Surprised he looks up, seeing Mal standing right next to him, her eyes fixed on his. Robin doesn't want help, doesn't want Regina to think she's stuck with an invalid for the rest of her life, but then again he doesn't even know if she wants him back. Sighing, Robin nods and waits for Mal and Regina to stand beside his shoulders. They hook their arms under it, count to three and with united force they pull him into a standing position. It takes a moment for him to adjust, but they don't let go, not even Mal which surprises him. They've always been friendly with each other, but he's never been able to feel particularly close to her due to her habit of keeping people at arm’s length. Still, while his friends used to call her untouchable, some even scary, Robin knew from Regina what her family has been through.

  
"Thank you."

  
"Bit rusty, huh?" Blunt as ever, Mal's red lips curl into a small smile as she squeezes his shoulder.

  
Robin chuckles. "Not rusty, just broken. They should have put me to the junkyard with all the warhawks and thunderbolts."

  
Regina swats his shoulder hard and only when he sees the seriousness in her eyes, how much she's hurt by what he said. He could swear there are tears brimming in her eyes once again, but she swallows them down. He's used to joke about his injury, has overcome the dark times when he thought of killing himself because of it. Who wants an invalid as a husband, as a lover? But back in England he's seen the women who got their fathers, husbands and sons back. The fact that mattered was they came back, they survived, no matter how many limbs were missing. "I'm sorry."

  
"Don't you ever say something like that again."

  
"I'm sorry, Regina."

  
"Robin." They break their gaze to look at Mary Margaret who is standing only a few feet away, nervous and insecure. Robin takes a deep breath, knows what follows. "D… David. Is he… Is there any chance he is…"

  
It breaks his heart to see her like this. He's always been fond of Mary Margaret. Actually he owes her, since she's been the one to introduce him to Regina, so telling her, no, her husband has not made it back is probably on the list for the hardest thing he's ever had to do. Slowly, he reaches for the dog tags around his neck, taking off the wedding ring which he slips into his pocket before he steps forward.

  
"I'm so sorry, Mary. He… he isn't coming back. David was my best friend, you know that. I was with him, when he died and he…" Damn the lump that's forming in his throat. "He told me to tell you that he loved you. More than anything." His hand is holding out his best friend's tags toward her which she receives with a trembling hand. She takes a look at them with tears streaming down her cheeks, dropping from her chin down onto her coat. Robin wants to comfort her but doesn't know if he should, if he has the right to do so.

  
"Thanks for this, Robin," is all she whispers before she turns around and walks off.

  
"Mary Margaret!" Regina calls after her, but Mal holds her back, shaking her head and telling her that the woman needs time to grieve.

  
"Not everyone is granted a miracle, Regina." If Robin doesn't know any better he could depict an ounce of dread as Mal says these words. She looks… split. Half happy, half hurt, doesn't seem to know whether to smile or look angry. Instead, the usually so strong woman seems rather defeated, as if she's lost a battle. Her face is more like a grimace as she nods over to the car park and says: "Let's get you home."

  
Xxxxx

The ride home in Mal's eggshell blue Chevrolet Fleetline is mostly quiet. Robin is sitting in the front with her since he had trouble with his hip while getting into the back, while Regina is leaning forward in between the two front seats. Regina is holding Robin's hand, her thumb caressing the back of it, while her other hand she's absently playing with one of Mal's curls. She seems still incredibly tense as Robin tells them how long it took to take the BOAC from London to New York and then to Chicago, via Denver to LA and finally the military machine up to Honolulu. Regina is explaining how they expanded the hospital and how much more work they are doing.

"Mal is overseeing the nurses now - and she scared one of the new doctors to hell on his first day, he wanted to resign his post!" Regina exclaims, twirling Mal's stand around her finger and giving it a playful tug.

"I can see you doing that," Robin smiles and raises an eyebrow when they pull up in front of a house he doesn't recognize. It's unfamiliar, not the small condo they moved in after they got married, but it's bigger, looks more spacious with a nice front yard that is picked with hibiscus bushes and palm trees. "You moved?"

Mal turns off the engine, her hands slightly shaking. She gets out of the car without another word, heading toward the front door. Regina bites her lip, an unhappy frown on her face. "Would you mind if I talked to her for a second?"

"Not at all, love. Did I… do something?"

"No!" Regina is quickly to reassure him, her hand still holding on to his. "No Robin, it's… complicated. Give me a moment to talk to her. Please."

He doesn't want to, not really. Not after three and a half years, that he couldn't touch, smell or hold her. But if she wishes to speak to her friend, he can wait. He swore to himself he would do anything in order to make her happy. So far she hasn't told him to leave which is a big win in his book. Yet, he knew this is just the beginning. Surely Regina has questions, many of them - and he will answer them all as truthfully as he can. But he has questions, too.

"Thank you."

"For what?" he asks, dreading the moment she would let go of his hand.

"For surviving." Without another word she leaves the car, running up the pathway and then the stairs into the house, while Robin is left alone outside to his thoughts.

The moment she asked for turns into a while. Robin gets out of the car, his hip is not comfortable with the seat anymore. As the watches the front door of the house, the sky turns a bright burning orange. They used to love to go to the beach and watch the sunsets. It used to be a safe place, a happy place. Now though, the sunset seems more like a precursor of misery. He's associating too many bad things with the breaking of the night, remembers how the bright red chalk cliffs of Dover were the last thing he saw before his plane crashed into the ocean.

A violent shudder wrecks his body and he clasps the roof of the car for support as his vision starts to blur and his leg begins to vibrate. As he spots Regina stepping out of the house, it seems like once again he is right. The wedding ring is his pocket is burning a hole into his chest, but he doesn't dare to take it out and put it back on his finger. There's a simple reason: Regina isn't wearing hers either. Even though she's wearing a smile on her lips, her eyes tell a completely different story. She's troubled if the deep gap between her eyebrows is any indication. Will this be the moment she tells him to leave?

"Do you need help with your bag?" the brunette asks instead, heading toward the trunk of the car. It's not heavy, in fact, all he has inside is a second uniform and a few papers. The rest got lost in the war. He walks over to take it out, their shoulders brushing together for a second, making both of them gasp audibly.

"I'll be fine, thank you. Is everything okay?"

She's biting her lip, avoiding an answer, instead takes the bag from him despite him claiming he could do it himself and points at the door. "I think I have a few shirts left. I uh… I gave most of it away, because… I… I thought you were…"

"Dead." Regina flinches as he finishes her sentence and he doesn't like the look of guilt on her face right now. She had every right to give them away. Why keep a wardrobe full of things that would remind her day and day again of her dead husband? "It's okay, Regina. I understand completely. I wouldn't have expected anything else." Her smile is thankful and it surprises him when she throws one arm around his shoulders to hug him. God how much he missed her.

Mal is nowhere to be seen as they make their way up the steps of the porch and Regina leads him upstairs to a room with a twin bed. A wardrobe, a shelf and a nightstand with a small desk at the window greet him. It's not spacious but not small either, just the perfect size. The walls are painted in a light baby blue and just above the bed are a few sparrows painted in a matching dark blue shade. It looks like the walls of an old nursery.

Regina walks over to the wardrobe to pull out a cardboard box that she places upon the bed. She opens the lid, places a bunch of letters - he recognizes them as the ones he wrote her from the front - pictures and a small velvet box onto the bed, before she pulls out one of his old plaid button up shirts out as well as a pair of light brown pants. It's the outfit he wore when he proposed to her and it makes Robin's heart ache to know she kept this particular combination that reminded her of good times, better times.

"I… I used to sleep in it," she confesses a bit ashamed for a reason he doesn't know why. "I used to wear it all the time, this and a few others, because they smelled of you. I always smelled them when I missed you, because it felt like you were here."

The sudden image of her wearing his shirt and only that with her creamy thighs peeking out, her hair all loose and messed up from sleep does things to him, makes him want to kiss her. But he doesn't, because the fact she's placing the things back into the box, along with the velvet box that hold her wedding ring, is reason enough not to. Robin could swear there are tears brimming in the corner of her eyes, but he doesn't say anything, instead, he takes the shirt and holds it up. It looks too big and surely when he still used to have his muscular upper arms and broad shoulders it might have fit perfectly. Now though, he would probably drown in it.

He finds her watching him, an unreadable expression on her face that makes him swallow and place the shirt on the bed. "Regina, I think we need to talk."

"More than you know," she whispers guiltily, which leaves him all confused and frowning. "Please make yourself a home in here. Get changed, wash up - the bathroom is downstairs to your left - and then we will have some dinner. You must be hungry."

"You have no idea."

She places the box back inside the wardrobe before she heads over to the door, lingering just as he's beginning to unlace his shoes. Robin looks up, caught off guard by the lasting look she gives him.

"I really did miss you, Robin." Something feels off, something isn't right here, but he can't put a finger on it. Yes, he didn't expect to be welcomed back with trumpets and confetti, he also didn't expect for Regina to just invite him back into her bed, but something feels awkward and it's not just him.

"I missed you, too." Shaking his head, Robin gets changed quickly before he heads downstairs into the small bathroom where he washes his face and hands. When he came back out, he could smell pan fried sausages coming from the kitchen, which made his stomach growl and his mouth water. He hasn't eaten much during the days it took him to get here, but now he feels like he could eat a whole pig.

As he enters the kitchen, Mal is just placing three plates on the wooden table, while Regina brings a bowl with buttered spinach, mashed potatoes and last but not least the pan with the sausage. She spies robin who is leaning in the doorway, watching the domestic scene in front of him. He shouldn't be jealous, shouldn't wish it was him instead of Mal. It's what he could have had and he only has himself to blame for what happened. So he forces a smile onto his face as Regina points at a chair.

"Our food is being rationed at the moment, that's why we don't have enough right now, but…"

"It's more than I could have asked for," Robin answers, taking the seat opposite Mal, who avoids his gaze. "Malise. Alles in Ordnung?"

"Fine," she says, avoiding Robin's attempt at speaking to her in her native language. Mal was born in Copenhagen in 1907, but with her father owning a shipyard in Hamburg's harbor, she grew up in the Hanseatic until her parents immigrated to New York in 1924 in order to extend their business. He was wondering if he should tell her about his involvement in "Operation Gomorrha", the attack against Hamburg end of July 1943, where the 739 RAF planes with the support of the USAAF destroyed almost all of the city with explosive and fire bombs. He remembers flying off, leaving a burning, smoking hell, death and complete destruction behind underneath him. On second thought, telling her he destroyed her former home, a place he knew she used to be very fond of - at least before he left - not a good conversation starter.

They eat in silence. The chair Robin is sitting on is making him uncomfortable, making his hip hurt a little, so more than once he has to shift his weight and closes his eyes when a biting sting of pain takes his breath away.

"Are you okay, Robin?" Regina asks concerned. She's been watching him on and off, the expressions on her face shifting from star struck to troubled every other minute. She's always been an open book to him and he knows something is going on, yet he doesn't have all the puzzle pieces. Her hand reaches out for him, but he shakes it off, doesn't want to bother her, doesn't want to trouble her. It is Mal - who else? - who asks the question he knows Regina is dying to ask.

"What happened to your thigh?"

"Hip, actually. It's nothing."

"Robin," Regina chastises him in her don't-you-dare-mess-with-me voice. "We don't lie to one another, remember?"

He does. Remembers how she made him promise to be honest with her after he lied to her about his past all these years ago. So he takes a deep breath and puts his cutlery down.

"It happened on the morning of July 25, 1943."

"Operation Gomorrha," Mal whispers and he nods abashed. She knows, at least he thinks he does. If so, Mal doesn't show any kind of emotion.

"It's the day you were proclaimed…" Regina doesn't finish the sentence, just lifts a hand onto her mouth to hide the shock.

Robin doesn't like to tell the story, in fact, he has only ever told two other people. There are too many bad memories entwined. "The attacks became more frequent once the US joined the war in Europe. They wanted to demoralize the German population by bombing and burning down their cities. What Mal rightfully stated as "Operation Gomorrha", was the worst attack on Hamburg we flew. At least the worst one I was part of." He swallows, takes a sip from his water before he continues. "We escorted the bomber on their way back to England when we were surprised by a squadron of German Messerschmitts. I was flying my Thunderbolt when it happened. They used the rising sun to attack us from behind and above - nobody saw them coming. I tried to hunt them down, one by one and I got a few. A squadron of three chased me, pushed me away from the group and chased me all the way down to Plymouth. It was one on one by then. I'm a good pilot, but their planes… they outgunned me. They hit my plane and the tank exploded."

Regina gasps and Robin looks up, seeing the tears stream down her face. This time he does grab her hand, but he has to finish the story. He tells her what he remembers. He remembers the sizzling heat, his uniform catching fire, the stinging of the smoke in his eyes. How fast the plane drops, how he is trying to eject, how the roof flies off, but the mechanism for the seat doesn't work. More shots are being fired, he is burning alive… The last thing he sees when the plane hits the ice cold ocean is her face and then - nothing.

"Oh God!" Regina jumps up and heads straight for the sink, noises of retching and coughing follow. Mal gives him a stern look, before she gets up and soothingly rubs her back with one hand, while she holds Regina's hair back with the other. She's mumbling something, her touch seeming to comfort Regina who finally rises and presses a towel to her face while Mal turns on the water.

Robin doesn't know what to do, watches over his shoulder how Mal comforts her while she's hanging over the sink suffering through a mixture of retching and sobbing. He doesn't want to see her cry anymore. But why the fuck did Mal ask in the first place? She wanted to know what happened! And if the truth is hard to swallow then they shouldn't have asked for it. He's the one who has to live with it, he's the one with the burn marks on his back and chest. He's the one who lost his memory, who died and well… he's the one being incredibly unfair right now.

Carefully he pushes his chair back, about to rise when Regina buries her face in Mal's shoulder, seemingly breathing her in one, two, three times, before she turns back toward him and apologizes.

"I shouldn't have…" Robin starts, but she shakes her head, eyes red from crying and vomiting.

"We asked for it. It's just… All these years I imagined what happened, how you… how you…" She can't bring herself to voice the word 'died' but it's okay. He knows. "I just never thought… I had no idea this happened to you, Robin. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, love," Robin quickly reassures her and adds, "I survived."

Mal guides her back to her chair but doesn't sit down, she keeps standing protectively behind Regina, hands rubbing her shoulders. It's a way of touch Robin is just too familiar with because well, it's he who used to be the one doing this whenever she was agitated. A troubling feeling settles in his stomach, but he pushes the thought aside for now.

"If you survived, how come Regina got the message of your death? And why didn't you come back?" Mal looks at him, clearly confused while Regina squeezes the towel in her hand.

"I couldn't. A French fisherman found me floating on debris of my plane. I don't know how I managed to get out of my seat, or how I even survived the collision. Most of my uniform was burnt, my dog tags were missing and I was heavily injured. Many bones were broken, and my hip was smashed. He brought me to a French MASH and they tried their best. I was in and out of consciousness for weeks. Apparently the only thing I kept repeating was your name, Regina."

"You did?" Her voice is just a small whisper.

"Yes. They didn't understand what I was saying - the French are very stubborn apparently when it comes to other languages - but they picked up on my accent."

"They thought you were British," Mal concludes and once again Robin nods.

"After three months they transferred me over to England. My injuries weren't better, I couldn't even walk because of my hip. They wanted to perform an amputation, but one of the nurses had a better idea. She broke my hip again."

"She what?!"

"Claire broke it and her and Doctor Morgan performed an operation, trying to fix the bones. I lost so much blood. The wound got infected later, I thought I would die because of the pain, I… It were months of horror and pain, Regina. I don't think I want to talk about it."

"You don't have to, Robin." She reaches out for him and takes his hand, squeezed it and closes her eyes. She's a nurse herself. He knows she's seen injuries, has treated many victims of the war and Mal and her know exactly what all this means, what pain he must have been through. Put all of this into a war zone where you get bombed almost daily by the enemy and they're there.

"They did an incredible job with your hip if it was as bad as you said," Mal says. It's probably as much of a compliment as he will get from her. "But it still doesn't explain why you didn't reach out to us."

"It's because I suffered from severe memory loss. I couldn't even remember my own name. They all thought I was a British soldier, nobody even considered me to be from the US and because I had nothing left but my wedding ring and your name… I didn't know who I was, who you were, Regina. I kept dreaming about your face, but I couldn't assign it. The moment I remembered was when I coincidentally met David. He recognized me, he told me who I was but I didn't believe him. That is until he…" Robin shakes his head, this time it's him who's pressing his hands against his eyes in order to prevent the tears from falling. "I'm sorry, I can't…"

"It's okay. Robin, it's okay. I can finally understand. Oh Robin I'm so glad! I'm so glad you're alive." Regina slides of her chair in order to hug him. For a moment he can see Mal's face drop, but he focuses on her. It's awkward but comforting and he's glad she isn't making him tell her. It's one of the moments that haunts him in his dreams, to have your best friend die in your arms. But without David, he wouldn't have remembered. Fuck.

A few deep breaths later and he's calmed down again, his cheek pressed into Regina's flat stomach. Her skin is warm through her dress and it reminds him of the times they used to lie in bed together, holding each other, cuddling. So many memories come back, flooding his mind and senses and he's babbling now. Shouldn't bother her with this because he's only been back for a few hours, but he can't. He misses her, loves her, wants her. And he tells her.

"I missed you, Regina. I missed you so much. You're the reason I'm alive, your face kept me alive even when I didn't know who you were. I… I know a lot happened in the past few years, I know you're not wearing your ring anymore and I'm not the man I used to be. But I still love you and I thought that maybe…"

"Robin… Robin stop." Shit. Regina loosens her embrace, steps away from him and great, he screwed it all up just because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. Slowly he watches how Regina stops next to Mal and takes the blonde's hand. Mal gives her a reassuring smile and encouraging squeeze. Is this really happening? She's moved on, has she? Just like he told her to. She's going to tell him she's found another beau, that she…

"Mal and I are… together." Her eyes are fixed to the ground, her cheeks heated, but this time not from crying.

"What?!" His face slips into a shocked grimace and a shudder overcomes him. He must have heard it wrong, must have mixed something up.

"Regina and I are in a relationship. We love each other," Mal explains in a deadpan way as if she was telling him about the weather. "But… she still loves you, too."

"Mal," Regina jumps in, her body slightly shaking. She looks scared and Robin doesn't know if it's because of him or because of something else. It's 1945, in Germany homosexuals are put in concentration camps, in England they are put into prison and mental facilities, here you'd be an outcast, discriminated against, get expelled from the army… it's far, far worse than being black. They would both lose their jobs if this came out.

"No, Regina. I know you still love him, you've never stopped. You once told me you'd go through hell to be with him again."

Regina is keeping her eyes fixed to the floor and Robin doesn't know what else to do instead of stare while his mind is trying to progress what just happened. Love. Regina is in love with… Mal? With a woman? They are together? His mind is turning, long forgotten wheels are set in motion, trying to make sense of what situation he just came back to.

"Robin, say something. Please…" Regina finally whispers, but what is he supposed to say? 'Congratulations'? 'I'm happy for you'? No, no he can't say that because he isn't happy, not at all.

"You moved on."

"Oh don't make it sound so surprising Robin," Mal shots back, "it's what you told her to do. You don't get to complain. You weren't here."

"Mal," Regina says, trying to hold her back, but the blonde is taking none of it, feels the need to defend her, to defend them.

"You weren't the one to comfort her after you left, when she was freaking out while hearing about the failed allied attacks on the radio. You weren't there when she prayed every freaking hour for your wellbeing and to come back to her. You weren't there when her mother tried to marry her off to an asshole one month after your supposed funeral. You weren't there when her father died, when she lost your child and when she lost you!”

“Mal, stop!”

“I was there. I was there every single time, consoling her, reassuring her everything would be fine. I cared for her, I did your job and it was I who put her back together after the notice of your death shattered her into pieces. So you don't get to complain! Least of all that she moved on from the mess of a life you left her with!"

"Malise!" Regina yells as her, finally grabbing her attention. Mal is seething, breathing heavily and just when she realizes what she's said, that she's completely lost it, her expression turns from anger into horror. Her hand reaches out again for Regina, but she's pulling away, arms crossed in front of her chest, her face displaying the betrayal she's feeling.

"I… Regina, I…"

"I think you should leave us alone."

"Regina."

"After saying everything I asked you specifically not to say, you can at least do as I ask you now!" Her tone isn't leaving any room to argue, so Mal nods and heads upstairs without apologizing.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry she said all those things."

Robin is sitting there, stone faced staring at Regina. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how he's ever supposed to process the things Mal has just thrown his way. Because the problem is… she is right. He wasn't here when all this happened. He was in Europe, fighting a war that wasn't his. She asked him not to go, not to leave her, but he'd babbled something about honor and fighting for his land and then, when all she asked of him was to come back, he hadn't even been able to give her that. It's his own fault. That's what you get for throwing away the one good thing life has given you. Regina has moved on. Whether it is with a guy he doesn't know or with Mal of all people doesn't matter. She should be with the person who was there for her when she's been at her worst. And that is not him.

"She's right," is all he says. "I should go."

Panic flares up in her face and he can see she's desperate, can see tears once again forming in her eyes as he slowly rises, flinching at the pain in his hip.

"Please don't go. You… you just came back. You can't leave again."

"But you love her," Robin states, his mind still running circles.

"But I love you, too!" She's screaming now, hot, angry and confused tears dropping down her cheeks, wondering how this is possible. "I never stopped loving you, Robin. I wished you back with me every day, I would have done anything to get you back. I didn't plan on falling in love with Mal over this. But I did. I love her. I love you. I love both of you, goddamnit! It's stupid and confusing and I… I don't know what to do!"

Regina slowly sinks down onto the floor, her body shaking with violent sobs. "I... I know this isn't what you were hoping for when you came back to me, Robin. I don't know what you were hoping for. I'm not the girl you left behind three and a half years ago, I've changed. But the one thing that hasn't changed are my feelings for you."

"Regina," he whispers, his heartbreaking for her, for both of them and everything they could have had and despite the pain he sinks down next to her. He can't stand to see her cry anymore, wants her to stop because she has no idea how this impacts him. All he can think of is how he shouldn't have come back, how him turning up on her doorstep turns her life upside down. A good life, a seemingly happy life, one he feels like he now destroyed.

"You don't owe me anything, Robin, but please. Please don't leave me again. I don't think I could survive that for the second time. Please!"

Robin pulls her against his chest, happy that she lets him. For the second time today she's crying into his shoulder and he's rubbing her back. How can he deny her this one request? He doesn't have anywhere to go, she is all he has left in this world. There is one thing she is completely wrong about though, so he tells her. Gently, he pushes her back and cups her face with his hands.

"I owe you my life, Regina. You are the reason I'm alive and I won't leave you unless you tell me to. I'll take anything you can give me."

"Even if I love both of you?" She whispers in between hiccups.

He sighs deeply, can't say how they are ever supposed to figure things out, but he nods. "It's a messy, complicated situation, but my heart is telling me to stay. I love you, Regina."

It's her who closes the gap between them and drops a short, but sweet kiss against his lips and his heartbeat quickens while blood is rushing everywhere. Too soon, it's over and she nuzzles her nose against his, the affectionate way she used to before their life turned into this mess.

"We will figure something out. Together."


	2. Pearl Harbor, 26th November 1941

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! It's the last day of OQ Prompt Party and I'm so proud to present you a new story in this verse here!
> 
> A huge thanks goes out to my betas waterbaby, Allie and Trenesha as well as Shay and Miles, who helped me a lot when I was getting frustrated. These are all amazing ladies. Also a special thanks to Jen, who hosted OQ Prompt Party, gave out prizes and organized everything! She's a true treasure and we can be lucky to have her in this fandom.
> 
> Prompt 104: Sex on the kitchen table (counter)
> 
> Prompt 101: Kissing in the rain
> 
> Now, I really hope you like it and I'd love to hear about your thoughts and feelings either here or on Twitter or in the upcoming review week we will be hosting since you all got flooded with so much material this week. Please send some love to all authors and artists out there who worked their asses off to brighten your week with different contributions each day.
> 
> Now let's go back in time...

_Pearl Harbor, 26th November 1941_

It's the day before Thanksgiving, when Robin finishes his flight training for the day. Today has been fun - more than he's had with David in a long while. They've done the double outside loop - a move they've been secretly training for weeks with one of the new airplanes their squadron has gotten. Back on the ground, they are met with cheers and jubilation from their mates. Their planes are parked in perfect sync, the propeller still slightly turning as they open up the cockpit windows and climb out of their second home.

A group of men is running toward them, have their hats flying high into the air, and many pads on the shoulder are given. Questions such as 'How'd you do that?' or 'You need to show me!' have both friends laughing. Even if the others wanted to, they wouldn't be able to pull it off. They're best friends, know each other's moves, trust each other blindly. Robin Locksley and David Nolan are  the two best pilots of the squadron, that's why they've just recently been promoted to the next rank.

Robin smirks at David, who's holding his hand up for a high five which turns into their usual handshake and chest bump. "Well done, Second Lieutenant Nolan."

David bumps his shoulder with his fist, clearly enjoying the use of his new title. "Couldn't have done it without you, Second Lieutenant Locksley!"

The jubilance is about to continue, when someone clears his throat audibly. Shit. The group of men grows silent, some even shrink down, and like the sea in front of Moses, the men step aside in order to reveal Robin and David, who both have to bite the insides of their cheeks in order to stop grinning. Getting caught is bad, getting caught by Major Midas is worse.

Nobody says a word as the Major stands there, his eyes focused on his two best pilots in annoyance. "You two. My office. Now!"

Without another word he turns around, stalking toward the building while Robin and David exchange knowing looks. They're walking multiple feet behind the Major, posture straight and hand folded behind their backs.

"Do you think we're grounded?" David whispers, remembering their last detention on the base in New York where they were punished by greasing all screws of the fifty-one airplanes in one week. He shudders, thinking of it.

"Nah - we got promoted, it's not like we are still Master Sergeants. Let me do the talking and he will want to join us next time," Robin answers.

"You're awfully full of yourself, Locksley, you know that?"

"My wife tells me every day," he smirks back, to which David just rolls his eyes. Thinking of Regina though, he can guarantee Robin is not joking at all when he says something like this. It would just be like the brunette to get him down from his high horse by undermining his ego. Good thing Robin doesn't know the things she tells Mary Margaret, because _his_ wife cannot keep secrets from him. It's nothing bad, not really, mostly schmaltz next to declarations of love. That's how David knows. Bickering or not, the two newlyweds are madly in love with each other. If not about planes, she is all Robin talks about, the old sap. Normally, David would grow tired of it if he wouldn't remember the way he used to be with Mary Margaret.

Thinking back to the old days when they first met at the academy, David has to admit the two of them became quite the pair - Robin turned from a ladies' man into Romeo, while he himself made it from a shepherd to Prince Charming. According to his wife at least. His face turns into a slight grimace, thinking of the moment she first called him that all these months ago after a night of too much sparkling wine for the ladies and beer for the men.

_'Bye, my charming pilot!'_ was what she yelled, while being dragged away from the bar by her friends, and _'bye, Charming!'_ was all he heard from his mates for the whole next week.

"You two are still coming to Thanksgiving Dinner tomorrow evening, right? Malise will be there, Belle and August and a few others. Mary's been preparing things since this morning. I think she is expecting our whole squadron by the amount of food she planned on having." It will be a nice dinner with friends. Luck had most of them transferred here together and while his parents were dead, his friends and mostly Mary Margaret and Robin became his new family.

"Of course. I've been looking forward to it for the past three weeks. Regina is bringing her famous lasagna."

"Her lasagna, are you serious?" A groan escapes David. That woman wants to kill him, really. She knows he can't stay away from her lasagna and it's going to make Mary Margaret all upset again if that's all he's going to eat. It's like cheating on his wife with food.

"Should I tell her to prepare two bowls and leave one at home so you can come by the day after tomorrow and eat it all by yourself?"

"She would do that for me?" David asks all serious.

"You know how much she likes to mess with Mary Margaret."

"At my expense."

"That's how you know how much she likes you," Robin replies winking, before he holds the door to the building open for them. It's true, Regina is sassy, shows her love by teasing and bickering most of the time. But knowing her as well as he does, he also knows about her other side, the one she rarely shows to the public. Sweet, caring, loving - loving so deeply, he's never experienced anything like it before. She has the biggest heart of all, his Regina and the thought makes a smile creep onto his lips. Damn, he is a lucky bastard.

The way to Mayor Midas's office is short, his door is open and he's already waiting in front of his desk with his arms folded, a grim expression on his face. Robin and David enter and close the door behind them. They salute in front of the Major, before standing at attention, waiting for the thunderstorm to break loose. Midas doesn't take long, the vein on his forehead so thick, Robin can swear he can see it pumping.

"After two and a half years of training, you two think a forty-five-thousand dollar airplane is there for your amusement?"

"No, Sir, I was just giving Lieutenant Nolan some training, Sir," Robin answers seriously.

"In your dreams," David mumbles back, hitting his friend's ribs with his elbow. Yes, Robin may be a better of a pilot, but damn it, he is right behind him in line always.

"You think this is funny?!" Midas shoots back and for a moment Robin wonders if making fun of the situation was the right move to make.

"Apologies, Major, Sir. Lieutenant Nolan and I were just trying to keep our edge."

"And when you did the Golden Screw last week what did you think that was? The ridiculous moves you're pulling are not training, that's a stunt! Reckless and irresponsible behavior I do not tolerate in my squadron." Midas is walking around them now. Despite the man being an inch smaller than them, David just wishes for the floor to open up a whole which would swallow him wholly. Out of the two of them he's never been the one to take a scolding lightly, while Robin just always waved it off like it was nothing, as if he was untouchable. Perhaps it has to do with his past, perhaps it's brave, or foolish? Depends on the way you see it.

David glances over to his friend who clearly seems to be struggling for words to respond. That's it, they're dismissed, they are going to be grounded for the rest of their lives. If they're lucky, they'll get a post as a mechanic or polisher, or…

"Will all due respect, Major, how can you call this reckless and irresponsible when you were the first man to do it? The maneuver is _named_ after you." David is holding his breath as the Major stops and steps so close to Robin, he wonders how his friend can bring up the strength not to step back.

"Don't get cute with me, Locksley. I'm not going to listen to this kind of absurdity much longer."

"No Sir, Sir… I don't mean to be disrespectful." Robin glances at David before he takes a deep breath and continues. "I agree our actions could be called reckless and irresponsible if they were just a show off, but… but…"

"We did it to inspire our men, Sir." David cuts in, wondering at the same time where the hell that just came from. Robin throws him a thankful glance, before he continues.

"Exactly, Sir. We tried to be an inspiration for our men, just like you were for us, Sir. And we want to honor you, Sir, because it's an honor to work with you."

Midas stares at him, his expression emotionless. They can hear the clock on the wall ticking as the Major steps back and walks over to sit at his desk, seizing the two Lieutenants up.

"That's complete and utter bullshit, and the two of you know it." For a moment it seems like that's it, that's the end of their career, but all of a sudden, the corner of the Major's mouth twitch. "It's bullshit, but it's incredibly good bullshit."

"Thank you, Sir," the two Lieutenants answer simultaneously, as a heavy weight lifts off their shoulders.

The Major sits down, raising two bright white envelopes into the air. The last time it happened was when they'd been both advanced to Lieutenant, but promotions don’t happen that fast here, do, they? So this could only mean one thing. Well, half the world is at war and whatever storm is brewing in the Pacific doesn't seem good either. To be honest, Robin is surprised it is only happening now. Ever since the war began in Europe in 1939, he'd been waiting for the letter. So far, Roosevelt had tried to keep the US’s involvement rather neutral despite the economic sanctions and his speeches about protecting freedom and democracy against Hitler’s tyranny. Yes, they sympathized with the allies and despite what many people think, they were preparing for a war, otherwise Robin couldn't imagine why the _Two-Ocean-Navy-Act_ would have been incorporated a little more over a year ago. But the war is happening on the other side of the world and despite him having watched the terrifying shifts of the front lines in Europe, it doesn't affect the lives of the people living here. So far.

“Nolan, Locksley, we need to talk about this.” He hands each of them a letter which is addressed to them. There it is, the letter which might change their lives forever. Robin has almost forgotten about it. It's been almost a year since he and David applied.

“The British have accepted you into their Eagle Squadron. It’s an honor - they want you to fight against the Germans. Locksley, I know you have ties to England and Nolan, you're eager to prove yourself.”

While Robin stares at the envelope, David is slowly opening it, pulling out the official letter with the British King’s emblem. He's held a lot of official letters but nothing screamed quite as fancy and important as this one. The paper was thicker, heavier than usual. It even _smelled_ important.

“I don't know what to say, Sir. I feel honored.” Robin still hasn't opened the letter, still hasn't said anything.

“You should, Nolan. They want only the best of the best and it seems like the two of you convinced them. You'll be leaving November 30th at 700 sharp.”

“That's in three days,” is everything Robin says, earning a sharp nod from the Major.

“If everything goes well you'll be shooting down Messerschmitts across the Channel by December 2nd. I expect you to report back to me on Saturday. Dismissed.” Midas waves his hand, a shimmer of pride flickering across his face. He is no doubt proud that two men under his command have made it into the British Eagle Squadron. Maybe, if he were twenty years younger, he would have applied himself.

“Thank you, Sir. Happy Thanksgiving, Sir.” David says, bumping against Robin's shoulder in order to get his friend to wake from his rigor. Robin's eyes shot up, a blank expression on his face as he mechanically salutes in front of his Major and leaves the office right behind David.

“At least this time they don't send us in Levi’s and cowboy hats like the poor bastards in the last war,” David jokes nervously as they make their way out of the building. There's no response, the unopened letter still clenched in Robin’s hand. “Are you okay Robin? You haven't said anything since the Major…”

“It's a bloody war over there, David!”

“We knew that when we joined the army,” is all his friend answers slightly defeated and Robin doesn't know what to answer. Yes. They knew. He knew. But it's four fucking days he has left here and it's Thanksgiving, he and Regina… shit.

“I don't know how to tell her. If the war isn't gonna kill me, she will.”

David can't hold a slight chuckle back. “Robin, she's a nurse at a military hospital. Trust me, she _knows_. She will understand. Regina is strong. Mary Margaret on the other hand…” When Robin’s head shots around David sighs. “You know what I was trying to say…”

“Don't fucking tell me my wife isn't as sensitive as yours! Just because she always waves everything off like it's no big deal instead of starting to wail like a baby on the spot if things don't go her way, doesn't mean she can't feel things deeply! You don't know her, you have no idea what she's been through and…”

“I got it Robin. I got it and I'm sorry! We both have shit to deal with now. I don't think you noticed but you're not the only one who just got their death sentence!” David is yelling now, and the yelling is turning heads from the people who are passing them. Robin stops dead in his tracks and before David can say anything else he suddenly finds himself jammed into the nearest wall with his best friend’s hands gripping his uniform. “What the…”

“Shut the fuck up and listen, man! You. Are. Not. Gonna. Die. You hear me?! You're one of the best bloody pilots I know exist and we will go there together and come back together. I don't fucking care if we have to blow up every single German city to extinguish these Nazi pigs. We will get them before they can even think about what's going to hit them. Do you hear me?!”

“Robin…” Robin slammed him into the wall once again, drawing even more attention to their conversation.

“I asked you if you bloody heard me?!”

“I heard you,” David presses out, almost sinking down to his knees when Robin finally releases him.

“What is going on Lieutenants?!” One of their Captain yells opposite from one of the offices, clearly annoyed by the disturbance.

“Nothing, Sir. I just had to remind the Lieutenant of something,” Robin explains while helping David up and escorting him out. “I'm sorry.”

“No,” David dismisses quickly. “You're right. We are going to blow up their asses. See you tomorrow at dinner?”

“Tomorrow,” Robin confirms before squeezing his friend's shoulder grinning. “Congrats, man. We are two of the best damn pilots the US has to offer.”

All he receives is a wary smile and he doesn't know whether to admire David for being able to show his concerns about the operation or not. Sighing, Robin stuffs the letter into his jacket pocket, thinking of how he was supposed to break the news to his wife. He was serious earlier when he said that it was rather likely Regina would kill him instead of the war.

Xxxxx

When Robin arrives home, the sky has grown darker. His eyes wander over to the horizon where the sea meets the sky, catching up on a dark front of clouds. A storm is brewing above the Pacific and despite the weather forecast speaking about the hottest temperatures since recordkeeping began, Robin can feel the cooling breeze that waves up from the beach. Whether it'll hit the island or change directions, purely by looking at it, it feels like the sky is portraying his own torn self.

The lights are switched on in the small condo and he's surprised Regina is home already. Didn't she say something about working late at the hospital? But then again, apart from one or two cases of severe diarrhea from new soldiers who thought it would be wise to indulge too much of the foreign Hawaiian cuisine, she'd talked about the hospital being rather dead these days. It's not like Robin minds. Injured people usually means an attack, or worse, war, but he's more than happy this peaceful little island in the middle of the pacific is far way from all of it. Life is still fine here, quiet. All the Americans on this island need to wonder about is whether they were able to get their hands on a turkey for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Well, all Robin has to worry about is how the hell he is going to tell his wife that come Sunday he'll be off to fight in the worst war the world has ever seen.

He parks his bike next to the small shed with the dumpsters, straightening his uniform and taking a deep breath. On the way here, Robin has thought a lot about how he is going to tell her and the best way is probably straight out. He can't wrap this message up in cotton, no matter how hard he tries. Regina will hate him for it, he knows. All he can do is rip the band aid off and ask her to live the few days they have left before he leaves as intensely as possible.

The smell of her famous lasagna hits him the moment he opens the door. It's not locked, it never is when one of them is there. There's clattering of plates and cutlery coming from the kitchen, in tune with the radio that's playing Glenn Miller's _In The Mood_ to which he can hear her humming along. Robin remembers it playing the first time he's asked her to dance and wonders why fate hated him so much.

That's how he finds her in the small kitchen, hips swinging along with the music's rhythm. She's standing with her backside toward him, cutting something that looks very much like zucchini and eggplants, dressed in a simple knee length light blue buttoned  cotton dress with a white peter pan collar and a slim white belt around her waist, all covered from the front by a white apron. Her hair is done up in perfectly styled victory rolls, falling just above her shoulders. The only reason she hadn’t cut it is because he likes the long dark curls so much. Robin pushes himself off the doorframe, slowly making his way over to her. He doesn't want to surprise or scare her, not while she's handling a knife anyway.

Regina must have caught him from the corner of her eye because she jumps slightly, dropping the knife. "Robin! You scared me."

A smile pulls onto his lips as he watches her wipe her hands on the apron before she pulls the ribbon open in order to take it off. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to."

The moment the apron is gone, he pulls her close, catching her lips in a kiss. Regina's arms wander around his neck and pull him a little closer before she ends it with a quiet smack. They brush their noses together, leaning forehead against forehead before they pull back. As always, she's grinning, her thumb coming up to wipe away her signature red lipstick from his face. "Hello, Lieutenant Locksley."

Ever since he got promoted she calls him Lieutenant and damn, it does _things_ to him. She knows, he can tell from the smirk on her face she knows what she's doing to him and she's severely enjoying the power she knows she holds over him.

"Hello, _Mrs._ Locksley. You're home early today. I wasn't expecting you until later this evening."

"Well, the hospital has more than enough nurses to coddle that poor officer who's still not feeling better. I thought I should use the time more wisely and prepare the lasagna for dinner tomorrow." Regina entwines herself from his embrace and is ready to tug her apron back on. "One for us and one for David on Friday."

Robin hums appreciatively. "I already told him he's welcome to come over on Friday… He's going to love you. My wife bewitching my fellow comrades with her magical cooking skills. Should I be worried?"

"Never!" Laughing, Regina tiptoes once again to press a hiss onto his cheek, this time not bothering to wipe away the lipstick. He doesn't care. When they're at home, she can leave her marks on him as much as she wants. "I might bake my lasagna for my friends, but my apple-raisin pie is only for you."

"Because I'm the only one who likes to have raisins in it," Robin counters, making her laugh. She bites her lip, ready to throw a comment back at him, but instead Robin kisses her again, this time a bit longer. Carefully he reaches behind her, making sure the counter is clear of any chopping boards and knives before he walks her two steps backward and lifts her up onto the surface. Regina giggles into the kiss, moans when he does that _thing_ with his tongue and leaves her lips in order to pepper kisses and licks onto her skin all the way down to her neck.

"Mmmh, Robin… h… how about you go… go get changed while I… finish… mmmh, yes there."

He's close to her ear now, nibbling at her earlobe before he grins. "How about I finish you first…" It's not what he should be doing right now. He should ask her to sit down with him because he has to tell her something, but there's this selfish little voice in his head that insists he should cherish the moment, the easiness that's still between them, which will be destroyed the moment he opens his mouth about the subject. Pretense is easy, and right now that he has the choice between pretending everything is fine and feasting off his wife or telling her he is leaving to fight in the war three days from now, he would be stupid to pick the latter.

Regina seems more than eager to follow through with his plan, spreads her legs and grasps his uniform in order to find some balance. Brushing up the skirt of her dress, Robin makes quick work of unclasping the garter from the nylon stockings which he let slip down to her feet, careful not to rip them. There is a shortage due to the war and he won't have her throw another tantrum because he ripped one of her precious pair of stockings because he's just always a little too overeager when it comes to sex with her. The appreciative hum she gives him shows that he's right. The underpants turn out to be more of a challenge and in moments like this he just wishes she wouldn't wear anything underneath.

Robin presses his hand against her core, can feel the warmth but not the expected slickness just yet. It's fine, they've just started. In teasing little twirls, he rolls his thumb over the fabric, earning a gasped 'Robin!'. Teasing her is fun, but not very much so when he feels himself grow hard in his uniform. It's not like he wants to make this a quick affair, he's promised himself to always finish her off properly, but he needs to… wants to… One finger slips underneath her underwear and damn, she’s much wetter than he expected already.

“I need these off immediately!”

“Not stopping you,” she breathes out heavily and fuck, he loves the deep tingle her voice gets whenever she’s aroused. Robin draws away from her with one last lingering kiss, waiting for Regina to find support with her own hands before she pushes herself up slightly so he can pull down her garments in one swift practiced move. Everything below her waistline is bare now. Regina’s skin is smooth, and once again he’s amazed at how much time and care she invests to keep her body perfect like this. He never asked her to do that… though he’d be lying if he said her beauty wasn’t one of the things he fell in love with the first time he saw her.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” Robin whispers, his voice lined with obvious need. Regina doesn’t hesitate but pulls his face back on hers, catching his lower lip between her teeth and pulling lightly at it. Robin’s on her within seconds, sucking at her already sweet swollen lips until she finally opens up and he can devour her with his mouth. His forefinger traces up her inner thigh until he reaches her middle, pressing down gently and making her hips buckle forward in response.

Even though he knows all she wants is a quick release, Robin teases her clit with his thumb, swiping from the top right down to her soaked entrance. She’s hot, how and pounding and she’ll probably hate him for having scrub the counter clean with alcohol once their done, but now he enjoys her being putty in his hands, aching for him. He sucks at her tongue the moment his middle finger slips into her, earning a surprised moan from her that strikes him right down to the core. While his cock is twitching in his pants, eager to be let out, he tries to ignore his own needs and make this about her. Maybe later, when she’s mad at him she will remember… but please, none of that now.

Regina seems to catch up on his mind’s distraction, breaking the kiss. “What’s wrong?”

Robin shakes his head as if the movement is going to erase his thoughts before a seductive smiles pulls up on his lips. “Just thinking of all the things I want to do to you.”

She bites her lower lip again and what did he ever do to be blessed with a wife that was Regina former Mills now Locksley.

“How about instead of thinking about them, you actually start doing the… eeeeh...mmmmmh!” Regina goes when he curls his middle finger and presses up, hitting the spot that makes her almost see stars.

“You were saying…?”

“Yes, Robin… More… Please!” Who is he to let his wife beg? While he continues the play with his middle finger, he slowly sinks down, adjusting his knees on the cold tile floor, not caring they're going to hurt like hell come morning. He's at just the right height now, breathing in the significant smell of her juices. For a second he considers licking his finger, but when he looks up he sees how far gone she is, with her head leaned back against the hanging cupboards behind her, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Later then.

"I love you," is all he mumbles before he spreads her folds with his free hand and leans forward, taking first one, then a second tentative lick. Fuck. Delicious. Who needs dinner when he can have her? She's the best thing to ever happen to him, he's one lucky bloody bastard.

The sound Regina makes the moment he licks through her folds, sucks at her clit just a moment before curling his finger to hit the spot inside her is anything but meant for public. Robin loves that he can make her feel like this, make her feel so damn _good_ about herself. She's gorgeous, perfect and thinking that come Sunday he might never…

"Robin… I need you, _please_!"

With his head back in the game, he dips forward, his tongue wrapping around her, licking, sucking, while his finger pumps in and out of her, making sure to curl every time at just the right moment. Regina is close, he can feel it, can see her thighs trembling and hands shaking. Her breathing is down to quick short breaths, only interrupted by small moans and groans and it's only a matter of seconds before she comes right here, right there…

The second finger he adds is her undoing. She half gasps, half yelps, hands now firmly manifested in Robin's hair while her orgasm overcomes her. Robin doesn't pull back even though it hurts, licks and sucks and pounds through it, until her shaking body has slipped so close to the edge she actually threatens to fall down. It's too much for him, pleasuring her, making sure she won't fall off the counter, his own cock that's pressing violently against the fabric of his pants. So he stops pumping his fingers, only licks at her clit until she's quieted down.

The moment he finally decides to look up, he sees her smiling down at him, lipstick slightly smudged and hair tousled, but gorgeous and satisfied nonetheless. Robin lifts his fingers to his mouth, sucking her juices off while looking at her and the love in her eyes is clear. Slowly, he gets up, knees slightly hurting from the floor but he won't complain, not when she's looking at him like this.

"I love you," Regina whispers back, drawing him in for a soft kiss which she hopes expresses her gratitude.

"I love you more," he answers chuckling, burying his head against her neck, breathing her in. He's not going to tell her tonight, no. He won't ruin their perfect little bubble of happiness. The decision is made.

 

Xxxxx

 

He'd wanted to tell her, it had been in his best intention, really. But she'd been feeling a little under the weather this morning, calling it a light migraine and Robin had doted over her until midday hoping some light breakfast and cuddling would make it better. Even though she hadn't eaten much, by early noon, she was better. He could have told her then. But Regina had asked him to help her with the apple pie and wrapping up the lasagna and organizing a ride to the Nolan's house tonight. Then, in the afternoon, Regina had been called into the hospital to help with another patient and been back just in time to get ready for dinner tonight. Robin should have told her then, he really, really should have but now he regretted not saying anything. She looks gorgeous in her slim fitted wine red dress with sleeves stopping just below her elbow, a nested bosom and a neat collar made of two long strings which were tied into a bow. Her rolls are styled in a careful pompadour and tied with a bow in the back. Together with her Cuban heeled stockings, matching shiny black shoes and red lipstick, she just looks like a sin on two feet.

A cab picks them up at quarter to seven and they have to rush a little to get everything inside, the pie, the lasagna and an umbrella because all day it has been looking like rain. The wind has picked up, blows across the island in an unhindered manner. It's not bad yet and hopefully the rain will wait until tonight, though a look up to the sky tells Robin, it probably won't. It's been building up like something inevitable since yesterday, just like the news she's yet to tell Regina. The clouds are dark, the wind still picking up and according to the weather report in the newspaper this morning, it might turn into a thunderstorm. He's a pilot, he's studied the weather. It'll come crashing down all at once, there's no way to avoid it. There's no way to avoid telling Regina either. Now's the time.

"You've been so quiet all day, honey," Regina remarks, her hand coming up to caress his cheek lovingly. "I'm sorry today was so busy. We have all day tomorrow though. I swapped shifts with Mal at the hospital and you don't have to report back to the base by Saturday morning. How about we go to the beach if the weather is nice? I can prepare a picnic."

"I need to talk to you about something, Regina," Robin blurts out. His wife frowns, pulling back her hand slowly.

"I… I need to talk to you about something, too." Nervousness has gripped her, he can see it and wonders what's going on. This is not like her, Regina has never been nervous to talk to him about something. She'd bold, audacious, straightforward, tells him when something went wrong or whether he made a mistake. She's not like one of the women to stay silent until the partner figures out what he did wrong or not. No, his wife has always told him straightaway whenever she's been bothered or concerned about something.

"What is it? Are you okay?", Robin asks concerned, his hand reaching for hers. She smiles genuinely at him, so it can't be bad, can it…?

"Yes, I'm fine, I'm more than fine, I…"

The cab pulls up in front of the Nolan's house, the driver interrupting their moment.

"Later," is all she whispers before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, swiping away the tiny mark her lipstick left. Later is bad. He needs to talk to David, needs to talk to…

"Do you guys need any help?" Mary Margaret calls from the front door. Shit, shit, shit, shit, he has to…

"No, we're good!" Regina answers before getting out of the car with one last squeeze of his hand. She takes the lasagna while he takes the pie and umbrella, rushing quickly inside to escape the few drops of rain that seem to start falling. They're both met with friendly hugs, happy Thanksgiving wishes and kisses on the cheek. Mary Margret lingers a bit longer than usual, squeezing him tighter than normally. She knows, but she looks surprisingly put together, if not even determined.

"David! Robin and Regina are here, come and take the pie! I'll take that," the younger woman smiles, quickly taking the lasagna from Regina which will no doubt go somewhere David can't reach it. It's a good thing the second bowl is waiting for his friend at their apartment which he can pick up tomorrow.

David arrives within seconds, taking the pie away from Robin while making lingering looks at Regina's lasagna. Greetings are exchanged verbally and he nods with his head over to the adjoining door. "The others are in the living-room, how about you go join them?"

"Sure," Regina smiles before turning around toward Robin. "Are you coming?"

"I'll be with you in a sec, love… I need to talk to David." Regina smiles at him before squeezing his hand and going inside. Mary Margaret has already left but instead of the kitchen, Robin grasps his arm and pulls him two doors further down into the study.

"What the hell, man?" The door hasn't been fully closed behind them the moment Robin blurts it out.

"I haven't had a chance to tell Regina about England and she _cannot_ find out today. You need to help me!"

David almost drops the pie. "You… what?! Robin how could you?!"

"I know, I know, I know! I wanted to tell her but I never found the right moment and now… who else knows? Oh God, the living room… is she… are they…"

"Calm down, _nobody_ except Mary Margaret knows and today she won't say anything. We… She was _very_ upset yesterday and cried all night, but this morning she said she wouldn't let a war some pigs across the pond started ruin her Thanksgiving and that there would be no talk of it today. So I think as long as Regina won't say anything, I don't think she will tell."

A heavy weight lifted off his shoulders as relief filled him. He sent an ejaculation up to heaven while sighing audibly. David though would have none of it. "You need to tell her, Robin. This isn't something you can do last minute and it's not fair toward Regina. Telling Mary Margaret was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life and nobody prepared me for this at the military camp. They teach you how to shoot and fly and march and obey but no one ever teaches you how you say goodbye."

"I just…" Robin starts, but his friend shakes his head and damn it, David is right. He needs to tell Regina and he will the moment they leave. She deserves to hear it from him and no one else.

That's how Robin walks out of the study, new confidence manifested. Regina loves him and he loves her. Just like Mary Margaret won't let get anything between her and her perfect Thanksgiving, he won't let anything between himself and Regina. He forces a smile onto his lips and joins the others in the living room. It's mostly nurse colleagues from the hospital, the neighbors Robin fleetingly recognizes and a few other friends of him and David from the base. They don't know. Major Midas will tell them Saturday morning at the assembly. Once again hugs and greetings are exchanged. There's Belle and August, Ruby and Peter as well as Neal and a doctor from the hospital he recognizes as Whale. All the others are neighbors he doesn't know yet.

He spies his wife at the end of the table sitting next to none other than Malise who greets him with a stiff smile and nod. Even though Robin knows she’s his wife’s best friend, for some reason he never seemed to be able to warm up to her with her snarky comments and untouchable demeanor. They are friendly, but not friends.

Slowly he makes his way over to the table, where excited chitchat is already dictating the mood of the guests. There’s laughter, whispers, stolen glances and touches between Ruby and Peter. They only got together recently so celebrating their first Thanksgiving together must be very new for them. With a soft smile Robin remembers last year when it was his and Regina’s. They’d almost gotten caught by Mary Margret while having a quickie in the pantry. Those were the good days, the easy days.

“Robin, come on over,” Regina calls from the end of the table and waves her hand, gesturing to the free seat beside her. It only takes him a few moments to make his way over, greeting the guests with pats on the shoulders and kisses on the cheeks for the women. Mal is given the same greeting as everyone else, however he can feel a special cold radiating off of her today. Something is going on, he can see it in her eyes but he won’t ask, not when Regina is quick to press a kiss on his cheek and holds his hand.

“I can’t believe Christmas is right around the corner. I still hope I will get the time between the days off and we can go to the mainland to meet my parents. What do you say, Robin?”

Parents? Since when did she want to go see her parents over Christmas? That’s complete news to him and his facial expression seems to tip Regina off quickly. “I’m sorry, my mother called a few days ago and asked if we would come down to San Francisco and celebrate with them and Aunt Mirana. You wouldn’t mind, would you?”

He can’t escape her eyes, not when they are looking at him with such excitement and pleading, but he knows it’s a promise he won’t be able to keep if he said yes. So instead, he presses a quick kiss to her knuckles before he says: “How about we wait until you get the clearance from the hospital and then we’ll discuss it further?”

Mal snorts disdainfully before she takes a sip of her wine which makes Regina raise her eyebrows but omit a comment. What the hell is wrong with her?

“Perhaps we should go see if Mary Margaret needs help in the kitchen?” She asks instead and is quick to rise but Robin pulls her back down. She can’t go to the kitchen, can’t have her alone with Mary Margaret, not when he still hasn’t told her. It’s not like him to prevent her from doing what she wants, but they have to survive this dinner without an incident and chances are higher when she stays right at his side.

“I think she’s fine, love… Stay with me… Please.” It’s not like him to keep her close and Regina’s obviously surprised expression is enough to make him start sweating. His wife is perceptive, she knows something is going on, but instead of questioning him, she leans against his side and tells him she’ll stay right next to him if that’s what makes him happy. Perhaps it’s her way of making up for not being much there today… a thought which makes Robin’s stomach churn. Mal just rolls her eyes but raises quickly, disregarding the glass of wine next to the china.

“I’ll go.”

“Thank you Malise,” Regina smiles, squeezing her friend’s hand shortly.

Xxxxx

Dinner is laid out on the table quickly. There are plenty of bowls with all sorts of food. The turkey is put right into the middle while the lasagna goes to the other end of the table where the neighbors are sitting - far enough away from David, Robin realizes with a smirk. Bowls of potatoes, more stuffing and more delicious things are spread across the table.

While the storm is blustering outside, inside it’s warm and cozy. Mary Margret thought about putting up a few candles in the room just in case the power should go out. It’s a frequent thing on the island, so better be safe than sorry. Nobody minds, instead it’s encouraged because it enhances the cozy atmosphere.

Robin notices how his wife keeps sipping at her glass of water, face unusually pale. She hasn’t even touched the wine nor does she seem eager to start dinner. It reminds him of this morning and he wonders if she might be coming down with something. Perhaps she should stick to potatoes and turkey tonight in order to not upset her stomach any further.

Once everyone is seated, Mary Margret clinks a fork against her glass of wine and raises. The room grows slowly quiet, everyone eagerly waiting for her to start with her speech so they can get on with the dinner everyone has been looking forward to. Robin though, is nervous. He’s nervous Mary might let something slip even though she promised David not to say anything about the topic today at least. Robin anxiously listens, trying to find David’s gaze, but his friend is looking elsewhere. Great.

“Thank you all for coming to dinner tonight. I’m so happy to have you all here in our home and I promise to make this quick. Today, I think we should all share one or two things we are thankful for in our lives and I’d like to start by pointing out the most important person in my life - David.” Mary Margret looks down at him, eyes slightly watery as she takes a deep breath. “David, from the moment I met you I knew we were meant to be. Now, I remember I was slightly drunk that night -” For this comment she earns chuckles from all the present nurses and men because _everyone_ knows the story. “But when you asked me to dance, I knew you were the charming prince I waited for all my life. I love you, David. So much and that will never change, no matter what happens…” Mary Margaret swallows hard and it looks like she wants to say one more thing but instead she raises her glass to toast her husband, everyone else chiming in. She sits back down, looking solely at her hands and not at anyone else.

As everyone does their rounds in sharing what they’re thankful for, Robin’s stomach starts feeling worse and worse. It doesn’t get better, when it’s Regina’s turn. How can he sit here, listening to how much she loves him and how happy he makes her and that this past year was the best year of her life because she got to spend it with him? He’s lying to her face. He’s an asshole, he doesn’t deserve her, he…

“... and I’m looking forward to the next year, because I just _know_ it will be a good one for us. I…”

“How can you say that?!” Mary Margret interrupts, hands fisted into tight balls under the table.

“Honey…” David tries to calm her down, but she shakes him off.

“No! No! I tried, David. I tried for all of us but hearing her say _that_ … How could you, Regina? How can you just sit there, all happy and cheerful and chatty when you know exactly what’s going to happen?”

Regina stares at her friend, looking around into the faces for the other confused guests, everyone seems to be surprised by Mary Margret's outburst. Everyone except Mal. “I’m sorry Mary Margret I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Robin thinks he’s close to a heart attack. “I think we should take this somewhere else…”

“Shut up, Robin!” Mary Margret yells, raising from her chair this time with such force, the wine glasses are dangerously close to falling over. Her face is red with anger, tears threatening to fall down any moment now. “I can’t believe the two of you are sitting there, pretending like nothing is happening when… How can you not care at all about this? I knew you can be a cold hearted bitch sometimes but how can you…”

“How can I _what_?! What the _hell_ is going on here?!” Regina now asks, clearly agitated. Her eyes shot from Robin to David and back to Mary Margret and damn, she can see that something is wrong, can see in their faces that it's bad.

“How can you talk about a future when they are going to war against Hitler?!”

The room is wrapped into a stunned silence, partly interrupted by the thunder of the storm outside. Not only Regina is staring at Mary Margret in disbelief, the other guests seem just as shocked by the news. Mal swipes up her glass and leans back in her chair, seemingly the only one who is not surprised. David just pinches his nose, while Robin doesn’t know what to say now that the secret is out. He wishes desperately he could turn back time and tell her the moment he walked through the door. Wishing won’t help him now though. Nothing will help him now.

“What is she talking about?” Regina’s voice is quiet next to him and the moment he looks up he can see her eyes sparkling with a mixture of panic, fear and anger. “Robin?! _What is she talking about?_ ”

“Love, maybe we should…” he starts, but Regina shakes her head, leans closer over to Mal when he tries to touch her. The blonde is shooting daggers at him and damn it, for some reason he's sure she knew _somehow_.  

“No Robin! Tell me _now!_ Is it true? _”_

“He hasn’t told you?” Mary Margret asks somewhat hysterically. She can see from Regina’s panicked gaze that the woman has no idea. Robin is silently pleading with her, shaking his head, begging her to stay silent… But the younger woman seems determined, her eyes cold as she stares him down before she says: “David and Robin are going to England on Sunday. To fight the Germans together with the English.”

"They were told yesterday afternoon," Mal adds casually, throwing Robin an angry glance.

"Regina… please let me explain," Robin pleads, reaching for her hand, but Regina is quick to bolt up from her chair, all color drained from her face. She looks so pale, like she's going to puke any moment.

"No… No, no, no, you're lying. You're lying."

"Regina," he whispers again, but she is looking at him with such betrayal in her eyes, his words get stuck in his throat though as she walks backward like a frightened deer surrounded by the wolves. "Regina please."

"No!" she yells, bolting out of the room and Robin wants to follow. It's Mal's hand that stops him, her fingernails cutting into his skin. If looks could murder Robin would be dead right now.

"Let go of me, Malise!"

"You had all fucking day to tell her you dummer Vollidiot! Do you have any idea what you've just done you undeserving piece of shit?!" The blonde is seething with anger however Robin shakes her off. He doesn't have time to fight the angry looking dragon right now, he has to go after his wife.

"Malise!" Mary Margret exclaims agitatedly, half blushing at Mal's choice of words, the blonde is quick to throw a 'Shut up, princess!' at her though.

"I need to go after her," Robin yells, finally being able to shake Mal's hand off.

"You don't deserve her!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" Robin hisses back before he runs out of the living room. He's half hoping to find Regina in the kitchen or the study, but the moment he sees the opened front door leading outside into a dark mess of rain, wind and thunder, he knows where she went. Quickly he grabs their coats, not bothering about an umbrella because it won't help in this wind anyway.

The rain hits him full force from the front the second he steps outside. He needs to find her, needs to explain and hope she will listen. Mal is right, he doesn't deserve her. That was clear from the moment they met and right now, he doesn't have anyone else to blame other than himself. _Why didn't you tell her?!_ Questions are running through his mind, all of them pointless now though. He knows he screwed up and he doesn't deserve her forgiveness.

Robin makes his way down the road and that's when he sees her walking a few hundred meters in front of him in her beautiful but completely soaked red dress with her arms wrapped protectively around her body. She's going to get sick if they don't get back inside soon, so Robin runs. He's hit by a few flying palm leaves but shakes them off, the only thing on his mind is to get to her as fast as possible. "Regina!"

The brunette doesn't turn around, if anything he can see how she tries to quicken her steps in order to get away from him. Robin luckily has always been a fast runner though and within moments he's beside her, his hand reaching out for her upper arm in order to stop her.

"Leave me alone!" Regina yells over the noise of the storm and rain, ripping herself free from his hold while continuing to make her way down the road. Where she's intending to go he has no idea because their home is the opposite direction.

"Regina _please_ let me explain!"

Suddenly she stops, Robin almost bumping into her. Whether her face is all wet from the rain or tears he can't really tell however he can see she must have been crying because her eyes are red rimmed, shiny… and so, so broken. Never in his life has he seen this look on her, not even when her mother refused to attend their wedding. It is only then that the gravity of his betrayal sinks in and shatters him to the bone. He's responsible for this, for her looking at him like this. Lord, what has he done?!

"No Robin, you don't get to _explain_! You promised. You goddamn _promised_ me to _never_ lie to me again!"

"I didn't know how to tell you," he's trying to defend himself. It's weak but at least it's the truth. "I didn't lie, I wanted to tell you, but…"

"And _when_ _were_ you going to tell me? Sunday morning right before you left?"

"No, I…"

"Robin how could you even _think_ I wasn't going to find out tonight? What were you thinking? I don't think you were thinking at all." Regina is crying now, tears spilling over and melting into the streaks the rain drops are leaving on her face. She looks so heartbroken and hurt it's ripping him apart to be responsible for her pain.

"I was afraid Regina. I didn't know how to tell you. I… I thought by not telling it would make this less real. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, my love."

Regina shakes her head and her hold around her belly tightens. It's as if she's trying to wake herself up from a bad dream, denying that the past hour happened. "You can't just leave me like this, Robin."

Robin doesn't want to, now that he's in front of her, he wants to stay. She's his everything, she's his world. He cannot lose her… but he has a duty and as much as the following words hurt him and how much they will hurt her, he has to remind her. "We are both working for the army, Regina and the situation in Europe isn't getting better. You knew this day would come eventually."

"I know… I just didn't expect it to be so soon. I thought we'd have more time." For the first time she's looking at him directly. A desperate sob escapes her throat and to his surprise she flings himself at him, throws her arms around his neck and buries her head in his wet shirt. All he can do is whisper apologies and hold her tight, pressing soft kisses against her forehead while his own tears seep into her hair together with the rain. They both know he’s not going to withdraw from the mission, he can’t. His honor and duty forbid him.

Robin doesn't know how long they're standing there, wet down to the bone, both of them crying. He finally has the sense to wrap the coat around her even though it won’t be much help and shelter from the rain now.

Regina nuzzles his neck, presses a kiss against his exposed skin. He doesn't wait another moment, tilts his head and captures her in a hard, desperate kiss that tastes of tears, longing and goodbye. Her teeth catch his lower lip, bite down hard, but he doesn't care. He needs to feel her, to remember her, to make sure that this is real, that she is real and always will be.

For a moment Regina stops, presses their foreheads together before she brings a little bit of distance between their faces. She looks torn, eyes darting from his lips back to his eyes. Robin apologizes again, doesn't know exactly what he can do to make it up to her. It hurts when she shivers, his beautiful wife who is looking so fragile and broken right now.

"Promise me you will be back."

The request hits him hard, especially because she knows he is in no position to make such a promise no matter how much he wants to. "You know I can't…"

"Robin, I need you to _promise me_ you will be back. _Please._ I can't do this alone."

"Regina…" He presses a quick kiss against her forehead. It's ridiculous because just yesterday he's made David promise him the same thing, but this is different. "I don't know what is going to happen once I'm over there."

"But you…" Her voice is faltering again, thick with tears and raw from crying. "But I need you. We need you. Robin, I'm pregnant."

Her words are like a punch in the face. He'd expected anything really, anything but this.

"You're… You… You are?"

Regina's smile is small but it's there the moments she takes his hand to put it onto her belly. She's been ignoring the signs, has told herself it's the stress or the weather, but last week Mal had made a comment and the thought had manifested. Only two days ago she'd gotten confirmation from one of the doctors at the hospital. Counting back from her last menstruation, she knows she is somewhere between her eighth and tenth week. It is still early and there are of course risks involved but she can't let him go to war without knowing. "You're going to be a father, Robin."

He's staring at her, half smiling and half in disbelief, his hand still pressed against her belly by hers.

"You're pregnant," he repeats as if saying it again out loud is going to make it even more real than it already is. Regina is nodding eagerly, pressing soft kisses against his lips and cheeks, not realizing that by telling him she made his dilemma even worse. Now Robin doesn't just have her to lose but also a child, his child. His son or daughter which, should the worst case set in, he will never have a chance to meet. By leaving on Sunday, he's going to leave behind his family, his whole world and he hates himself for it.

"This is why you have to promise me to come back, Robin. For me. For _us_."  

It's a promise he cannot keep but makes it anyway. "I promise I will come back to you. God, I love you so much, Regina. I love you more than anything in this world, I need you to know that."

"I do," Regina whispers, new tears shining in her eyes.

She pulls him back down to kiss him once again with everything she has, knowing full well that come Sunday despite his promises, she might never see her husband again. Still, there is hope. He's promised her after all.

 


	3. Pearl Harbor, 31st July 1943

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OQ Angst Fest Promps 11 and 34. I hope you enjoy and if you're feeling too sad, please just reread chapter one.

_Pearl Harbor, 31st July 1943_

 

Despite Pearl Harbor being thousands of miles away from the war happening in two other parts of the world, the nurses at the naval hospital are as close to the front as the soldiers. It's Saturday, the hospital is buzzing with nurses, preparing the beds for the ship with ninety-three wounded soldiers, which will arrive in the harbor on early Sunday morning. Wounded during the war in the Pacific, unable to be treated on the Navy hospital ships. They're the ones whose chance of survival is a little higher than the others. They get these ships in quite frequently, ever since the war with Japan started. Back in the days at school they were prepared for emergencies, but no one had prepared them for the attack on Pearl Harbor about 18 months ago. War changes people, no matter how close or far away they are from the actual front. War has changed them.

Mal is taking a break outside, smoking a cigarette. It's a nasty habit, she knows, but the cold smoke smoothes down her fluttering nerves in the most calming way. She's leaning against the doorframe, replaying inside her head what still needs to be done before the ship comes in tomorrow. She has to write the schedule, she still has to check the supplies and fill out a form to organize new ones in time. Because of the war, long delays with the deliveries are commonplace, so it's better to be safe than sorry.

"Taking a break, Lieutenant?" a voice behind her asks.

Regina steps forward, dressed in her crisp, white nurse uniform, reaching for Mal’s cigarette, which she shares willingly. A little smirk plays around Mal's lips as she watches her friend exhale the smoke before handing the cigarette back.

"You know you don't have to call me that," the blonde muses. "I don't mind when the others do though."

"It has a nice ring to it. First Lieutenant Malise von Drḁgen."

"They should have promoted you as well after the attack. We did what we had to do together."

Mal smiles, remembering the day of the ceremony a few months ago where their work and effort during the attack on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese had been rewarded. She now is a proud owner of the Bronze Star and in the position of the hospital's head nurse. She'd taken control over the situation, back when bombs fell on the base, had rallied the nurses, and organized the hospital's response to the attack, even when the bombs started to fall close to the hospital. It had been her who had handed out gas masks to the nurses in order for them to breathe in between all the fumes and smoke, enabling them to keep caring for the patients.

"But you took the lead. And I'm glad you did," Regina responds as they look down to the harbor, which only shows little signs of the attack now.

"Have you heard from Mary Margaret? Ever since she received David's letter yesterday, she's been a bit disturbed and we need her tomorrow." Mal takes a last pull from her cigarette and watches the smoke disappear into thin air.

"She said she wasn't feeling well, but that he was fine. I'll check up on her before I go home tonight. You know how hard it's been for her with Neal being sick all the time. She misses David a lot." Regina tries to smile but it doesn't quite meet her eyes.

A few weeks after Robin and David had left, Mary Margaret had found out she was pregnant. The pregnancy had been hard on her, as was being a single mother while constantly worrying her husband wouldn't come home, would never see his son. It's not like Regina can't relate, only that neither she nor Robin had been able to meet their child, which had never been born.

The memory still hurts. A lot.

Mal takes her friend's hand and squeezes it, knowing exactly what Regina is thinking about. She's been there, every step of the way, seeing her friend lose her baby while at the same time they have to be strong for and help Mary Margaret with her pregnancy. Regina sighs, swallowing down the painful memories, and glances at Mal who is staring at her with a hint of admiration.

It's the one thing she's always been grateful for: No matter what life has thrown at her, Mal has never pitied her, only ever told her how strong she is and given support where others don't know what to say.

"We are a bit short on penicillin and the cook wants to talk to you, too."

"I'll note it down. Thank you, Regina."

The brunette smiles before she heads back inside to help with the preparations, leaving Mal for her well deserved two-minute break.

Mal sighs, collects her thoughts and stubs out the cigarette. She is ready to head back inside when she sees one of the telegram boys approach with his bicycle. If she weren't working at a hospital, the sight of this boy would send a shiver down her spine. Every family dreads the news the so-called _angels of death_ bring. News from the front. In this case however, it might be more information about the ship that is coming in tomorrow.

She walks down the stairs to greet the boy and take the telegram.

"Good morning, Ma'am," the boy greets her, jumping off his bicycle. He looks nervous, more nervous than usual.

Mal reaches for the telegram but he pulls away, eyes stuck to the ground.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but… this is a telegram for Mrs. Locksley."

Something inside her breaks, and she knows. Mal just knows, as she stares at the little piece of paper in the boy's hand.

"I'll give it to her," she whispers. The boy just nods and hands her the paper without another word. He leaves as quickly as he came.

She needs to sit down, needs a moment to collect her thoughts. Her fingers slide over the paper and she can swear she smells a hint of the fresh ink it was typed with. It weighs heavy in her hands, almost pulling her down like an anchor into a sea of worries. Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe it's good news. Maybe he's coming home. But when have they ever been blessed with good news? Should she open it? It’s not her place to do so, but she needs to know, has to know what misery fate is about to throw upon her best friend once again, after everything she's been through in the past two years. Although everything inside her screams not to, she opens the telegram.

 

**WESTERN UNION TELEGRAM**

**RECEIVED AT PEARL CITY, HAWAII**

WA WASHINGTON DC   43 JUL 31    AM  1009

 

MRS. REGINA LOCKSLEY

 

REGRET TO INFORM YOU YOUR HUSBAND FIRST LIEUTENANT ROBIN LOCKSLEY 41 ST IS OFFICIALLY REPORTED AS KILLED IN ACTION JULY TWENTY FIVE OVER THE CHANNEL.

LETTER FOLLOWS.

 

                                                           MERLIN, THE ADJUDANT GENERAL

 

 

Every bit of oxygen has left her body and it is only when she almost chokes that Mal takes a flat breath. It feels like someone has put a rope around her throat. She'd been so angry with Robin when he'd left Regina, so angry when he'd chosen the prospect of becoming a hero over her. They would have called him coward but at least he would've been alive and well, had he stayed. And now…

Her hands want to clench, want to crumble the note, shred it into pieces, want to _burn_ it and just pretend it never existed. How dare he? How dare he die on Regina?

"Fuck!" she exclaims, rubbing a hand over her face, careful to spare her lipstick. She's not going to cry, she can't. She has to be strong for Regina because her friend is going to break when she finds out. This is what worries Mal the most. Seeing Regina's heart break once again. And this time it won't be something she can fix. The damn war has brought too much loss and suffering into the world and if she could, she'd stop it in a heartbeat.

From the inside, the blonde can hear Regina's laugh echoing through the hospital halls. Should she wait until tonight, wait for the right moment? Is it fair to keep this from her? No, Mal decides. There's no such thing as the 'right moment' to deliver news like this, and there never will be.

Taking a deep breath, Mal folds the telegram and is ready to head back inside when she's stopped by the squeaking brakes of a bicycle approaching. God, please don't let it be another telegram boy.

It's not. Mal stares down the hospital steps in surprise as she sees Mary Margaret getting off her bike, little Neal wrapped tightly around her front, held by a long scarf. She can't see whether he's awake or sleeping but what she does see, is Mary Margaret's devastated and slightly disturbed look. She sees the puffy red eyes and the hesitation, as she parks her bike and pats baby Neal's back in a comforting way.

"Mal." Her eyes fall on the telegram and then meet the blonde's. She knows.

"How?" Mal whispers.

"David's letter," the brunette chokes out, eyes brimming again with tears. "I'm… I'm so sorry. I… I wanted to… I didn't know how. Does she… Does Regina know?"

Mal shakes her head, sizing up Mary Margaret. She's known since yesterday and hasn't said anything. No wonder she'd left work in a hurry and called in sick this morning. A hint of anger flares up inside Mal.

"Why did you not come to me?"

"I… I was so shocked, I didn't know what to say," Mary Margaret apologizes sincerely.

"Then why come now?"

"Because she deserves to know and read the letter herself."

Mal shakes her head. "I don't think she should hear it from you of all people, Mary."

Mary Margaret's face falls and this time, tears start to drop down her cheeks. "It's not my fault," the brunette whispers.

"I know. But you have everything she is never going to have. You have a child, you have the support of your family and your husband is _still_ alive. Regina is left with _nothing_ now." Mal knows it's not fair to accuse Mary Margaret of something so very far out of her control. The girl isn't God, isn't responsible for the war and doesn't decide who lives or dies. It's the anger talking she knows, and hopes Mary Margaret does, too. Right now though, having Mary Margaret there when she has to tell Regina that Robin is dead is not a good idea. Like rubbing salt into a wound.

Mary Margaret wipes her tears away. Wordlessly, she hands Mal David's letter and turns around to leave.

It's time. Time to face Regina.

Mal heads inside and is immediately glad nobody approaches her. She's built up a bit of a reputation, especially since she became head nurse. The newbies call her a dragon; the others who have been with her since the beginning have nothing but respect and admiration for her. The only one who ever dares to speak up to her is Regina.

Three of the younger nurses, as well as Regina, are preparing the ward for the wounded soldiers. When Mal walks in, it only takes one nod of her head to get the new girls to leave. They scatter away like birds hunted by a cat, leaving Regina behind, who has just finished putting clean linens on the last bed. She smiles as she sees her friend sit down on the bed next to her.

"We're just done here. I want to head over to the west wing to check up on… What's wrong?"

"I think you should sit down, Regina."

Regina looks irritated but sits down opposite her. One hand is nervously playing with the buttons of her uniform. Mal doesn't know how to start, wonders if there's an easy way to do this. As the head nurse, she's had to deliver the news of a relative dying to family members before, but this is different. This is her friend.

"Mal, what's going on? You're… scaring me a little bit to be honest."

The blonde takes a deep breath, pulling the neatly folded telegram out of her pocket. "I received this telegram for you earlier. Robin, he… I… I'm so sorry, Regina."

Regina stares at the piece of paper Mal is holding out toward her, hands now clasped together. She doesn't take it. The vein on her forehead is pounding, eyebrows drawn into a frown, before she slowly, very slowly starts shaking her head.

"This… Why would you… You're crazy, Mal." She gets up, hands pressed into her sides. Her mouth is dry. "No, this is crazy. This is really not a thing to make jokes about."

"Regina."

"No. NO! No, Mal. He promised. Robin promised me he wouldn't." She's shaking now, shaking so badly she needs to sit back down on the bed, one hand pressed against her mouth. Denial. "Before he left, he promised me, Mal!" Regina almost screams at her hysterically.

 

Her eyes are fixed on the telegram Mal is still holding out toward her, waiting for her to take it and read it. She is still shaking her head, her face is as white as the crisp linen she's sitting on, and there is so much fear in her eyes it takes everything for Mal not to cry.

"It says he was killed in action on July 25 over the Channel after they bombed Hamburg." The telegram doesn't say this, not exactly. But she's heard the news on the radio, has read the articles in the paper about the Allies destroying her beloved childhood home. The dates match up. "I'm so sorry, Regina."

"You're lying. Give it to me!" Regina screams, snatching the telegram away from her before she opens it with shaking hands. “It can't be. It just can't. This is a mistake!”

 

_"This is why you have to promise me you’ll come back, Robin. For me. For us."_

_It's a promise he may not be able to keep, but he makes it anyway. "I promise I will come back to you. God, I love you so much, Regina. I love you more than anything in this world, I need you to know that."_

_"I do," Regina whispers, new tears shining in her eyes._

_She pulls him back down to kiss him once again with everything she has, knowing full well that come Sunday, despite his promises, she might never see her husband again. Still, there is hope. He's promised her after all._

 

Her eyes are glued to the telegram as she reads the words over and over and over and over.

Officially reported as killed in action.

Officially reported as killed in action.

Officially reported as killed in action.

Regina's world turns from a bright spectrum of colors into the black and white letters of the telegram. Dead. Killed. Dead. Killed in action. Gone. Not coming back. Even though he promised.

Regina doubles over and throws up into one of the buckets they always keep between the beds. Mal is next to her within a second, rubbing her back as her friend chokes and retches and sobs. There's nothing she can say to Regina to make the pain go away.

The war has taken everything from her. She has nothing left. First her child, then her father, now her husband. Nothing is left, nothing but tears.

 


End file.
